1) What sound does a flying hamster make when he meets the wall at 1:00 in the morning? "Thunk!"
2) Why does the baby diaper bomb always seem to go off when you're in one of the following situations:
- right as your heading out the door
- the one occasion when you forgot and left the diaper bag with the diapers, wipes, extra clothes, etc., sitting on the kitchen table as you left to go to church
- when your wife, after years of not buying anything new for herself, finally finds that perfect new dress and wears it the first time
4) As we were driving through Scotland a couple of years ago, my then four year old piped up and said she was hungry. Being in a somewhat facetious mood, I responded, why don't you eat a toe jam sandwich (she had a massive fixation with toe jam at the time). She didn't hesitate to respond. "Daddy," she said in a matter of fact tone, "I don't like toe jam to eat it, I like to jam to pick it!"
5) What would you do in the following situation? It was time for my three year old to go to bed. Already, by that young age, she was a professional in the art of delay. All parents have been there. "It's time to go to bed now" Mommy (or Daddy) said. "Mommy, I need to go potty," or "Daddy, I need a drink," or "Just one more story." The list could go on forever.
This time it was a "Daddy I need to go potty," night. Our daughter went into the bathroom and proceeded to do her duty. All the while she was singing. After a few minutes I said, "Sweetheart, are you almost through?" "Just about." More singing. After a few more minutes, "Sweetheart, you need to hurry, its time to go to bed." "I'm almost through Daddy." More singing. Daddy lost his patience. I opened the door, only to see my daughter sitting on the pot, relaxed and swinging here legs back and forth like she had all the time in the world. "Sweetheart! It's time to be done! It's time for bed." Without warning, she turned her head, looked up at me, and in the most grown up voice a three year old can muster she responded, "Okay, you grumpy, old man!"
What would you do? I'll tell you what I did. I shut the door. Went into my bedroom, and buried my face in a pillow to stifle my raucous laughter.
6) How does a two-year old take a small bowl of pudding and spread it out on the wall in such a way as to make it look she used a whole pot?
7) Why do little boy's feet smell like pickles after running around in leather shoes all day with no socks on?
8) How does a small dog manage to eat a whole can of dog food in one bite?
9) Why was orange shag carpet (or shag carpet in general) ever popular?
10) Are all children doomed to attempt cutting their hair at least once?
Okay. I'm taking a page from Cindy's book. Dain Bramage has already set in and my cold laiden brain can't think anymore.
Sadly, most of the people in my blog links have already been tagged so I don't have anyone to tag right now. I'll come back tomorrow and tag someone.